Wendy Lawrence, STS-114 Mission Specialist: It would be an understatement to say it’s been a devastating year. As a military aviator I have lost squadron mates before, but never seven at once. It was a loss that was just absolutely overwhelming, and today it still feels that way. I had worked in the Station program as my technical assignment, and the chief of the Astronaut Office told me I had to stay focused on that, and he did not allow me to participate in any of the recovery effort for Columbia, nor in the accident investigation as well. So for me personally, being added to the STS-114 crew, I think, is a way for me to finally get a chance to honor the crew, and to make sure that their commitment to space flight will continue when we return the Shuttles to space flight.
What has been the most difficult part of the last year, watching the recovery, the investigation, the findings unfold, day after day, week after week, and then knowing that you’ve been added to a crew that will have a lot of pressure and a lot of attention placed on it as the next year unfolds?
For me personally, it was having to be on the outside looking in, having to focus solely on keeping the Station manned and making sure that the crews were prepared to launch to the Station and carry out their mission on board, and not being allowed to participate in the accident investigation, and to not really know what was going on with the investigation on a daily basis. That was very frustrating for me. Being added to STS-114, I understand very well the significance of this mission. It’s very important for us to get back to space -- that is the mission of NASA -- and if we don’t return to space flight I think we will not honor the Columbia crew in an appropriate way, and their deaths will, to some degree, not have very much significance. And, I personally want to make sure that for the families’ sake, we continue the commitment that their loved ones so strongly believed in, and that’s flying in space and the benefits we reap from that.
Wendy, you’ve flown in space three times; I’m just wondering, as an individual and as an astronaut, how have you changed as a result of this accident? Do you look at things differently? Do you approach training differently? Do you walk into your office every day with a little bit different mindset about what your job is, what it entails?
Wendy Lawrence, STS-114 Mission Specialist: I think I was very well aware of the risk, but since the Shuttle is an experimental vehicle and we are continuing to learn things about flying in space and how difficult that is, I’m not sure, on a daily basis, I was aware of all the risks that are out there. I can honestly say that I never really thought that entry posed more of a risk than ascent; now I’m very much aware of that. And as far as commitment to my work, I think the key message that I’ve taken away from the accident is that we can’t take anything for granted. There are still many things that we don’t understand about flying in space, many things that we don’t fully understand about how the Shuttle has been constructed and how it will perform in the very demanding environment of space. It’s a harsh environment, and it’s very unforgiving. And I think I’ve committed myself to being much, much more focused on the jobs that I’ve been given in the Astronaut Office and really following the issues very, very carefully. When I’m not satisfied with the amount of information I’ve been given on a topic I’m going to go for it with much, much more effort and make sure that, when it’s time for me to brief my management on the issue, I’ve gathered just as much information as I possibly can and talked with as many people as I can, that I’ve gotten all aspects of the story, and I can give them a recommendation on how to proceed that is very well thought out and very well informed.
